Shortly after moving their All-Star game from 1862 to modern-day Denver, Colorado, Major League Baseball was blindsided again and forced to find a new host city. After setting up for the big game, Media Matters sent a tweet showing that over 34% of Colorado citizens are registered gun owners. “Welp. Pack it up again, everyone!”…
Category: Featured
Biden Suggests Pipeline Workers Learn To Blow Into Windmills
Now that the ridiculous Keystone XL Pipeline is out of the way, Biden’s $91 trillion energy initiative can begin. The plan will reach net-zero emissions by 2023 or else he will call it racist. His administration has asked the pipeline workers for a compromise. “I satisfy the environmentalist and they stop earning a living,”…
Trump Reclaims White House Using Eminent Domain
Well, that was fast. Using some clever court filings, Donald Trump was able to immediately reclaim the White House using eminent domain. As construction for “Trump Tower Swamp” begins, some MAGA hat-wearing city planners agreed that the White House property makes the most sense for a parking structure. The tower will be directly in front…
Rappers Who Praised Trump Receive Another 90 Day Extension From Woke Mob
Another extension has been granted to all the rappers who were once friendly towards President Donald Trump. They now have 90 more days before the woke mob comes to destroy their lives. Their lives and assets were originally scheduled to be annihilated on Sunday. However, a DC-area judge accepted the extension request, which was just…
Trump Returns To Social Media With New 'Cancel Proof' Platform
Huge news in the social network world as Donald Trump has unveiled ‘MAGA Phone’, a new phone that allows conservatives to finally get their voices heard. The genius of the new handheld device is that it’s completely detached from the whiny Karens over at big tech. “My new phone will put the iPhone to shame,”…