MANHATTAN, NY — In what ended up being a groundbreaking indictment, DA Alvin Braggs called regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Paper, Michael Scott, to testify. It has been rumored that Democrats have been weaponizing the powers of government to harass President Trump without proper cause. Then Michael Scott, fresh off a visit from his favorite…
Category: Entertainment
Jaws Remake Aims To Terrify Liberals By Having The Shark Fire Off Mean Tweets
HOLLYWOOD, CA–Many are claiming Universal Pictures has gone too far with its remake of their 1975 classic, Jaws. The 2021 film is called Jaws Tweets, and it’s just too frightening, they say. In the new film, the shark does not attack any swimmers but rather fires off a series of mean tweets directed toward the…
CNN Wins Oscar For Best Original Editing
HOLLYWOOD, CA — The folks at CNN had a great Sunday night as they locked up the award for best original editing. And credit where credit’s due. On a nightly basis, CNN has been taking world events and uniquely editing them in a colossal way. The academy singled out some of CNN’s best work throughout…
San Diego News Team Distances Themselves From ‘Inappropriate’ Don Lemon
SAN DIEGO, CA – Don Lemon is acting inappropriately, and Ron Burgundy’s news team will not tolerate it. The four lead anchors of San Diego’s Channel 4 News are distancing themselves after Lemon remarked that all women should come with an expiration date like milk, ‘so society knows when to throw them out.’ “Son of…
‘The Squad’ Adds San Diego Weatherman Brick Tamland
WASHINGTON DC — As the four outspoken liberal congresswomen known as “the squad” grow in popularity, they needed to “add another brilliant mind to the club,” Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez explained to The Glorious American. Armed with a trident and hand grenade, San Diego weatherman Brick Tamland, flew to Washington on Wednesday to officially join the group.…