MANHATTAN, NY– Joe Rogan recently told his audience to “vote Republican,” a crime punishable by over 10 years in prison by the FCC. This has made Howard Stern, who has always loved and respected the FCC, very unhappy. “This Rogan guy, I’m not sure he’s a good boy. He strikes me as somewhat of a rebel. And…
Category: Entertainment
CDC Labels Marvin Gaye’s ‘Sexual Healing’ Medical Misinformation
ATLANTA, GA– This time, Marvin Gaye went too far in 1982, the CDC announced Sunday. The provocative songwriter is being canceled for falsely claiming something called ‘sexual healing’ helps relieves one’s mind, body and even cures a feeling of being ‘hot just like an oven’ –the classic symptoms of COVID-19. “Sexual healing is not better than…
Brian Stelter And Jeffrey Toobin Launch Podcast Called ‘Spud & Tug’
ATLANTA, GA—The Centers for Disease Control is asking Americans to brace for a new podcast from Brian Stelter and Jeffrey Toobin called Spud & Tug. The show, which features the tagline: ‘No Podcast Probes Deeper,’ is being hyped as the go-to spot for both impotent and sexually frustrated beta males everywhere. “Sometimes Michelle lets me listen…
Brian Stelter Says Taylor Swift Song 'Stupid Little Potato Man’ Is Not About Him
NASHVILLE, TN–Fans have long speculated that Taylor Swift’s hit song, “Stupid Little Potato Man” is about CNN’s Brian Stelter and now the serious newsman is finally weighing in. “It’s not about me, you guys so stop it. Taylor’s song is about, uuuhh, society. And sometimes artists view society as sort of like a stupid guy who looks…
As Political Life Ends, Liz Cheney Offers To Pose For Maxim
CHEYENNE, WY— Liz Cheney, known for her keen ability to read a room, is offering to pose for Maxim Magazine following her narrow, 86-point primary defeat last night. “I poured my life into representing the stupid Republicans of Wyoming, and this is how these idiots repay my generosity?” Cheney eloquently shrieked to her dad’s friends…