A little known NBA rule states that, in the event of an international Finals matchup, the national anthem will be “Ironic,” the 1995 hit by Canadian singer-songwriter Alanis Morissette. Understanding the public doesn’t want to sit through two separate national anthems, a 1995 game operations committee decided “Ironic” was the only song that truly captured…
Category: Entertainment
Sean Hannity Delivers Monster Wedgie To Shep Smith
On Thursday Sean Hannity delivered a monster wedgie to colleague Shep Smith. The incident happened shortly after Smith’s show finished airing. Reports are Hannity stealthily snuck up behind Smith, quickly located the elastic band and executed what many are calling the best, most devastating wedgie ever delivered in the halls of the Fox News studios.…
Jim Acosta Children’s Book To Hit Shelves Next Week
Jim Acosta’s new children’s book, Trump’s an [EXPLICIT] and a Total [EXPLICIT] Idiot and a Total [EXPLICIT] [EXPLICIT] Who Needs to be Stopped, is set to hit bookstores next week. “I just knew I needed to share my creativity with our nation’s children,” Acosta said in a press release. “The book was supposed to center…
Waze Releases “Easter Egg Hunt” Edition To Get Quickest Route To Eggs
Children everywhere hope to trim valuable time off their Sunday Easter egg hunt by downloading the new egg-locating GPS edition offered by Waze. “Our innovative egg-finding technology will be a total game-changer,” the popular GPS service told The Glorious American. “This family tradition normally takes 10 to 15 minutes. We think this app can get…
Topps Trading Cards Ditches Athletes, Shifts to Democrats
Topps Trading Card Company will no longer feature pro-athletes and will now exclusively feature Democrats. “It’s simple. Kids just have new heroes in their lives,” Topps COO Cesar Maciel told The Glorious American. “Yesterday’s Mickey Mantle is today’s Corey Booker. And I think that this change will be huge for us. Just the other day…