On Friday, the Department of Labor released names of the six unemployed Americans actively looking for work. “This unusual announcement was due to how low the unemployment rate has fallen and we thought this would just be easier,” said Labor Secretary Ray Harris. As the economy continues to roar, the following citizens are the last…
Category: Economic

Democrats Furious About Question #9 In Upcoming Census
The Trump administration has released its questions for the 2020 Census, and House Democrats are furious about question #9. The question asks, “Are you a terrorist?” “This is outrageous,” said Nancy Pelosi. “That is a deliberate misuse of the census and a total violation of the terrorist’s privacy. Terrorists are already weighed down with unfair…

Portland Homeless Threaten Strike If Dietary Needs Aren’t Met
The homeless of Portland Oregon have officially threatened city officials with a strike if their dietary needs aren’t met. In a strongly worded piece of cardboard to Mayor Ted Wheeler’s office, their demands were made clear: “We are SICK AND TIRED of being handed breakfast sandwiches PACKED with carbs and sodium. We WILL NO LONGER…

Report: Mexico Attempted To Pay For the Wall Multiple Times, But US Treasury Doesn’t Take Discover
The Trump administration was dealt some rather embarrassing news Friday when it was learned that Mexico had been attempting to pay for a border wall, but the US Treasury does not take Discover Card. Shortly after the 2016 election, low-level staffer Ross Salters received a series of voicemails from then-Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto. The…

Trump Puts Dwight In Charge Of Healthcare
On Monday, President Donald Trump put Dwight in charge of healthcare. This comes as a surprise to many as the Scranton paper salesman lacks experience in both medicine and policy writing. Yet Trump seemed undeterred when introducing the new director of Health and Human Services. “Dwight will do a fantastic job, that I know for…