Greetings, from your favorite and most vibrant Supreme Court Justice, Ruth Bader Ginsburg. First off, I would like to address the question you’re all probably wondering. The ‘elephant in the room’ as they say. So let me just get it out there: How can I be writing an op-ed about election fraud when everyone knows…
Category: 2020 Election
Joe Biden Appoints Dominion Voting Machines To Handle All Metrics For His Presidency
In a touching ceremony, the media’s selection for President, Joe Biden, announced that the Dominion voting machines would be asked to handle all the metrics for his 25-day long presidency. “Economic numbers, COVID deaths, GDP—this little guy is going to tell me all the numbers we want to hear,” Biden said putting his arm around…
Scientists Anxious To Study The Majestic Nocturnal Ballot Which Only Comes Out At 4 am
In recent days America has been introduced to a new species of ballots that only come out at around 4:00 am. They’re being called ‘Nocturnal Ballots’ and many scientists believed they had gone extinct following the 2000 Florida recount. The crew from Plant Earth has assembled teams to study the majestic creatures where they famously migrate…
Joe Biden: ‘Civil War Vets Have Given Me A Mandate!’
In an emotional speech over the weekend, Joe Biden informed the nation that our beloved Civil War Veterans have sent a clear message with their vote. “Why did those brave soldiers fight? For freedom? Hell no! They fought so I can run this country the way Susan Rice tells me to!” Biden yelled as the…
Philadelphia Election Officials: Poll Watchers Were Able To Watch Via Google Earth
Pennsylvania election officials have explained that any numbers of poll watchers were able to watch the top of the Convention Center using Google Earth. “The idea that people weren’t allowed to oversee us is absurd. You could literally oversee the whole darn building with just a few clicks,” said the state’s Director of Midnight Ballot…
