New Voting Machines Provide Small Flesh Wound When Selecting ‘Democrat’ So You Know What Getting Shot Feels Like

New Voting Machines Provide Small Flesh Wound When Selecting ‘Democrat’ So You Know What Getting Shot Feels Like

MARICOPA COUNTY, AZ — Some exciting new ballot-receiving machines are set to hit your local voting station for the midterm elections. The newest feature is a small, but helpful flesh wound for any voter who selects a democrat. “We felt obligated to remind voters what it means to vote for democrats,” said the inventor of the…

Sidney Powell Keeps Telling Kids Their Christmas Presents Are Going To Make Their ‘Freaking Heads Explode’

Sidney Powell Keeps Telling Kids Their Christmas Presents Are Going To Make Their ‘Freaking Heads Explode’

Parents everywhere are asking famed lawyer, Sidney Powell, to stop calling their children and hyping up how great their Christmas presents will be. “Oh, these presents you’ll be unwrapping on Christmas?  I’ll just say, wear a helmet.  Because your freaking head is going to explode,” Powell told seven-year-old Elizabeth Miller.  “Yeah.  It’s going to be…