In what’s being considered a shrewd hire, the Biden administration nabbed the guy who yanked all the wires out during Forest Gump’s famous Washington Monument speech. “We think Joe’s probably got all the gaffes out of his system, but we feel this guy should still get fistfuls of wires and go-to-town every time the president…
Category: 2020 Election
'I Quit!' Chris Wallace Storms Off Set Seconds After Fox News Projects Win For A Republican
Seconds after Fox News projected Republican, Glenn Youngkin to be the next governor of Virginia, Chris Wallace made a profanity-laced scene and quit. “Oh, for f– sake! I quit!” Wallace screamed after the announcement. “There are still dozens of suitcases under folding tables probably. This is an outrage!” When Wallace began weeping and tearing his clothes, Fox…
McAuliffe’s Closing Argument: ‘How Can You Say No To A Face Like This?’
Glenn Youngkin is in big trouble. With only hours left to vote, the McAuliffe campaign has zeroed in on a winning message by blowing up a picture of their candidate’s face. Accompanying the massive image is the pressing question, “How can you say no to a face like this?” “This picture of Terry’s face shows Virginians…
Virginia Car Accident Leaves Three Injured, Two Democrat Voters
Early this morning, a multi-car accident happened in Loudoun County, VA. The wreckage left three injured and two Democrat voters the coroner informed at the scene of the crash. Eyewitnesses said the Virginia Democrat officials arrived in their blue minivan and poured onto the scene with their clipboards and little “I Voted” stickers. “It was…
Mafia Renames Hideout ‘Hunter’s Laptop’ To Avoid FBI Suspicion
Desperate to stay off the Fed’s radar, the mob has scrapped their AstroTurf installation front and simply renamed their hideout ‘Hunter’s Laptop.’ The storefront is located in Newark’s Westgate Shopping Center and the FBI refuses to come within fifty miles of the new shop. To show how safe the new business name keeps them; Mickey…