, ,

Problem Solved? Elizabeth Warren Would Label Middle East a Safe Space

Problem Solved?  Elizabeth Warren Would Label Middle East a Safe Space

Elizabeth Warren may have just punched her ticket to the White House.

In a jam-packed Holiday Inn Express conference room, the Massachusetts senator said she would solve the chronic Middle East problem by officially labeling the whole area a safe space.

“You know how the Middle East is always being such a gosh darn, pill?” Warren asked the audience. “Well. I HAVE A PLAN FOR THAT!” she announced as she circled a huge section of a map with a red Sharpie.

While the media was flabbergasted by the senator’s brilliance, one question was asked:

“Mrs. Warren, what would you say to the dozen Middle East leaders who have already vowed to ramp-up the violence if anyone labeled their part of the world a safe space?”

“Oh! They’re just wrong!” a breathless Warren replied. “You know, they might say that now but I know the Arabs. You know how?” she asked followed by a dramatic pause. “I know the Arabs because I AM an Arab. Yep, 3/32nd full-blown Arab.

Warren, seeing she was losing the media members, elaborated:

“It’s true! My Papaw would always tell me, I had the high cheekbones of an Indian and the back hair of an Arab. God’s honest truth.”