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Marriott Asks Greta Thunberg to Stop Taking Her Boat to Speaking Engagements

Marriott Asks Greta Thunberg to Stop Taking Her Boat to Speaking Engagements

Marriott Hotels has officially asked Greta Thunberg to stop arriving at their locations via boat and crashing into their buildings. Thunberg, who is on a speaking tour along the west coast, has been using Marriott conference rooms as she raises awareness for climate change. However, because cars are wicked, wicked things, Greta and her crew have been pointing a boat straight for the hotel, gathering speed, and arriving in a fiery stop against their buildings.

After plowing into another Marriott, this time in Lincoln City, Oregon, an out of breath shift manager begged the child to stop leaving trails of wreckage. “Look what you’ve done, Greta! You’ve started another huge oil fire! Those turtles are burning alive! Please just drive here!” he was heard yelling.

“How dare you,” she angrily whispered. “Do you know how impractical cars are, you fool?!”

Critics are pointing out that the young activist is no longer using a sailboat, but rather a jet boat. When Greta was confronted about this she became so frazzled she said she may never be able to attend school again.