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Biden Campaign Hires Hillary’s Rope Team to Keep Press at a Distance

Biden Campaign Hires Hillary’s Rope Team to Keep Press at a Distance

As more questions of Biden’s shady international dealings pile-up; campaign manager, Greg Schultz has hired Hillary Clinton’s award-winning rope team to shield him from the press.

“Alright, the press is coming in hot! I want that famous perimeter!” Schultz yelled into a bullhorn as he saw The Glorious American approaching.

In case you’ve forgotten, Hillary’s rope team melted the hearts of Americans as they ruthlessly screamed “GET BACK!” and “MOVE IT, [explicit] HOLES!” at citizens and journalists who got too close.

Many in Washington are praising the campaign’s decision to bring in the rope team.

“They got the old band back together?!” NBC’s Chuck Todd marveled. “Hillary’s guys? I mean, they’re the best in the biz! During the 2016 election, NBC once went nine weeks without being able to ask a single question. It was awesome!”

Even the average Democrat seems to approve.

“Ropes, flamethrowers, use anything,” a worried Democrat voter commented. “Please keep the press away from Joe. We totally endorse this.”