MALIBU, CA–This week Alyssa Milano found a way to still “believe all women” while also discrediting Joe Biden’s rich history of sexual abuse.
“Think about this; Joe Biden—who I’m told assisted my mother’s doctor while she delivered me, has been in Washington his whole life,” Milano explained on a radio interview. “If Biden had ever touched a woman inappropriately, there’d probably be a bunch of internet memes about it, ya know?”
Unfortunately for conservatives, this logic is airtight. If it’s true that the internet is bone dry with memes of Biden being inappropriate with women, the fictional President’s reputation will remain forever unblemished.
Also in the interview, Milano revealed a “mystical formula” for always knowing who’s truly guilty of sexual assault. “If they have a ‘D’ next to their name,” she whispered into the microphone. “I think it stands for “Didn’t rape anyone.”
Update: To Milano’s amazement, Joe Biden himself was waiting for her in her car as she left the radio studio. Despite not remembering who she was, Biden was able to get a few sniffs of her hair before she eventually screamed, “HELP! I THINK JOE’S DOING HIS BRETT KAVANAUGH IMPRESSION!”
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