Bloomberg: ‘My Staff Tells Me My Smile Alone Can Win 42 States’

Bloomberg: ‘My Staff Tells Me My Smile Alone Can Win 42 States’

While speaking with NBC News’ Lester Holt, presidential candidate Michael Bloomberg raised eyebrows when he brazenly said, “People always talk about the money I’m spending on this race, but I have other attributes that no one’s talking about. For example, my staff tells me my smile alone can win 42 states.” Precisely as Bloomberg was…

Doctor Confirms Bernie Has Built a Huge Movement, Recommends Fiber

Doctor Confirms Bernie Has Built a Huge Movement, Recommends Fiber

This week Bernie Sanders’ doctor confirmed he has, in fact, built a huge movement. The Senator began experiencing some mild pain in his abdomen and went in to have it checked out. “So Mr. Sanders, it appears you’ve built up quite a movement,” Dr. Jacobs informed. “Yes—Good. I’m aware of that. But about this pain,”…

Democrats Demand Trump Administration Solve Coronavirus Crisis Michelle Obama-Style

Democrats Demand Trump Administration Solve Coronavirus Crisis Michelle Obama-Style

Donald Trump and Mike Pence are making a huge blunder by not solving the Coronavirus problem the Michelle Obama way, Democrats are saying. “The great Michelle laid out the tried and true way of resolving huge international problems!” shouted Chuck Schumer on the Senate floor. “She would identify what’s being cruel, whip out her Sharpie…

Pete Buttigieg Lists Things America Needs, Accidentally Includes Mike Pence Wall Calendar

Pete Buttigieg Lists Things America Needs, Accidentally Includes Mike Pence Wall Calendar

While speaking at a South Carolina rally, Pete Buttigieg rattled off a list of things America needs. But he finished his plea with a rather curious item. “This nation needs affordable housing! And what this nation needs is a living wage!” the mayor said, each idea getting thunderous applause. “And what this nation needs, now…

Bernie Guarantees 100% Childhood Literacy With New Book: “Learn To Read (Or Die)”

Bernie Guarantees 100% Childhood Literacy With New Book: “Learn To Read (Or Die)”

Senator Bernie Sanders left the nation in awe this week after unveiling his new children’s book titled: “Learn to Read (or Die)”. According to Sanders, this book is “guaranteed” to give America a 100% literacy rate among youngsters. The book’s title, which ends in “(or Die)” is raising eyebrows with Americans. But in Bernie’s twelve…