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Sanders, “If Staffers Donate The Money From Their Raise Back Into Campaign, WE’LL BE RICH!”

Sanders, “If Staffers Donate The Money From Their Raise Back Into Campaign, WE’LL BE RICH!”

Earlier in the week, Bernie Sanders suffered the most embarrassing news cycle of his career. News broke that, despite Sanders imploring all workers receive at least $15 per hour, he was only paying his staff around $13 per hour.

But while many expected the Senator to get discouraged over the bad press, Sanders stumbled upon what he believed to be a fantastic business opportunity.

“Listen, I am very annoyed at those workers who ratted on me,” Bernie said waiving his arms around. “But if we give the staffers more money and they were to redirect these funds back into my campaign, we’ll be making money hand-over-fist!”

A source within the campaign said several senior level staffers were trying to communicate potential problems with this plan but Bernie was far too busy slowly galloping around the room.

“Forget it,” an exasperated staffer said. “Let him have this.”

UPDATE: Not only were low-level staffers not on board with redirecting their additional pay back to Sanders, many of them were reportedly upset Bernie was yelling “millionaires and billionaires, here I come!” while galloping around.