For all you conservatives who got all huffy about big tech censorship this week, you can relax. Today Facebook announced they have decided to allow the explosive New York Post story to be seen on their site. All that the publisher needed to do was replace the name “Hunter Biden” with the morally correct “Don Jr.”
“See? We’re a reasonable bunch over here,” Zuckerberg told Americans while licking his lips like a lizard. “We just felt safer with Don Jr. doing all the crime and drugs and corruption. Plus, this way, we don’t need to fact check any details.
Zuckerberg went on to clarify that his company is only a platform, not a publisher. “This means anyone can put absolutely anything on Facebook as long as it doesn’t hurt my feelings. More importantly, we are above the law and answer to no one.”
Naturally, Don Jr. has found himself in hot water after the edit. The hosts on CNN were so outraged they were unable to deliver a coherent sentence all day as most of them were screaming like apes as they attacked several cameramen.
Update: The New York Post article has won the next seven Pulitzer Prizes and the guy who made the edit has locked up a Nobel Peace Prize.