Kamala Harris is seeing a bump in the polls after her campaign decided to scrap traditional campaigning and have the Senator just whisper: “Vote for me, or I’ll have you arrested,” in the ear of citizens.
Harris is going throughout Iowa, tapping people on the shoulder and quietly threatening hundreds of citizens per day.
“We think it’s working wonders with her polling,” a Harris staffer told The Glorious American. “Most of these old people really believe they’ll be prosecuted if they don’t vote for her.”
Before this creative new tactic, the Harris campaign was floundering after what many are calling an attempted murder at the hands of Tulsi Gabbard. During the second debate, Gabbard challenged some of Kamala Harris’ questionable decisions she made while DA of San Francisco.
“Harris prefers an effortless stroll into the White House,” said her campaign manager. “We don’t allow Kamala to take questions. Especially not ones that will make her look bad.”
UPDATE: Kamala Harris has decided to have Tulsi Gabbard arrested.