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Michael Bloomberg to Provide State-of-the-Art Press Robots to Hold Him Accountable

Michael Bloomberg to Provide State-of-the-Art Press Robots to Hold Him Accountable

For those complaining that Michael Bloomberg has been avoiding the scrutiny of the press, you can relax. Today, the New York billionaire announced he is deploying his very own army of state-of-the-art press robots. “Should I ever need to be held accountable, these press-bots would step in and hold my feet to the fire,” Bloomberg told the robot which then relayed the message to other media outlets.

To kick-off this groundbreaking announcement, Bloomberg sat with Journ-O, one of his most honest press-bots, on a Bloomberg TV exclusive.

“Michael, why you keep secret from citizens?” Journ-O staunchly asked.

“What? I would never!” Bloomberg shot back.

“You talk about job and bad orange man, but no mention your work with disenfranchised young black children?” Journ-O reminded.

“Oh! That?” Bloomberg said blushing. “You got me. I do take time to help the needy African American community. Nothing gets by you, Journ-O. I guess this is what facing true media scrutiny looks like,” he said shrugging.

Critics of Bloomberg are saying that this robot is not authentic press and is programmed to simply flatter the candidate. In response, the Bloomberg campaign released footage of Journ-O doing a series of backflips and regaining balance upon being kicked. “If a Bloomberg press-bot can handle this—think about what it can take from Trump!” the video explained. This response has largely satisfied the media.