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Media Thoroughly Explain How A President Shouldn’t Say Dumb Things, Forgets They Support Joe Biden

Media Thoroughly Explain How A President Shouldn’t Say Dumb Things, Forgets They Support Joe Biden

After President Donald Trump made some misguided comments during last week’s press briefing, the press has been absolutely fuming with righteous indignation. 

“I know one thing for darn sure,” began NBC’s Chuck Todd on his Sunday show.  “The President of the United States CANNOT say weird things!  I mean, can you imagine the commander-in-chief saying something muddled and confusing?”

As Todd was getting more heated with his comments, members of the Joe Biden campaign were quietly waving their arms off-camera, trying the get the host’s attention.  In the middle of his rant, Chuck Todd saw the men making the cut-your-neck-to-stop-talking gesture and remembered his next guest was Joe Biden.

Todd, now in a cold sweat panic, welcomed the former VP to the table.

“Well, now, I heard your comments and have to say, I couldn’t agree more!” Biden said, accidentally sitting with his back to Todd as a producer spun him around to face the right direction.  “Would you mind if I give my off-the-cuff thoughts on this?”

“Please don’t,” Chuck whispered.  But it was too late.

“A president is like a slow-roasted duck you feed to the neighborhood kids before Passover,” Biden explained while squinting with great focus.

“Mr. Biden, I am literally begging you not to finish this sentence,” Todd said, looking down in humiliation. 

“NO!  I’m going to finish this dammit,” Biden snapped.  “It needs to be said—now more than ever.  What I mean is,  Native Americans have been through enough.  If they want to wear just the small flap over their pee-wees, who are we to say no in this economy?”

At that time, NBC immediately cut the feed, and Biden’s handlers pleaded with him to just stick to his note cards.  However, their anger quickly switched to bewilderment upon seeing Biden’s bizarre comments were written verbatim on his notecards.