McAuliffe’s Closing Argument: ‘How Can You Say No To A Face Like This?’

McAuliffe’s Closing Argument: ‘How Can You Say No To A Face Like This?’

Glenn Youngkin is in big trouble.

With only hours left to vote, the McAuliffe campaign has zeroed in on a winning message by blowing up a picture of their candidate’s face. Accompanying the massive image is the pressing question, “How can you say no to a face like this?”

“This picture of Terry’s face shows Virginians he’s smart. Just look at it,” long-time friend, Hillary Clinton said. “I wish this was my closing strategy. I would have wo—hey, why are you walking away in the middle of my quote?” founder, Nate Silver, who became famous for guessing the correct outcome of a Senate race in 2013, loves the last-minute messaging.

“Look at how large his nostrils are flared,” he said looking at the poster. “Your average voter is wondering two things: One, how am I going to pay the bills?  And two, can my governor fit grapes up his nose?  For all his flaws, McAuliffe answers one of those questions here.”

But some in McAuliffe’s camp believe the key to winning the Governorship isn’t only how large he can flare his nostrils. 

“His eyes need to bulge out too,” an aid mentioned. “It’s endearing. Like a startled ape. Virginians love apes.”

Can Glenn Youngkin overcome this tactic? Quite frankly, Youngkin would be lucky to come in second. Don’t believe us? Take a good, long look at the picture of McAuliffe’s face again.

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