Earlier this week, Bernie Sanders released the following statement:
“It’s clear that I’m the wild revolutionist who cannot be caged. But the Democratic establishment told me to ‘shut up and do what we say’, so I must honor their wishes least they get mad at me. So I am dropping out. I’ve been told I will get no refund on all the parking I paid for throughout my campaign, despite my two dozen emails begging otherwise.”
When the news hit the Biden camp, many were expecting Joe to be ecstatic. However, he was not. “WHAT? You’re allowed to do that?” Biden screamed over the phone to his campaign manager (The phone was a banana and his manager was standing across the room). “Can I quit too? Does this mean I’m supposed to fight for the nomination all by myself?”
The Biden campaign has assured the former VP it will all be over soon and to try to do everything in his power to stay alive for a few more months.