Democrat Party Accidentally Hires Democrats to Count Iowa Votes, All Fail to Show Up to Work

Democrat Party Accidentally Hires Democrats to Count Iowa Votes, All Fail to Show Up to Work
In an embarrassing snafu, the Democrat Party accidentally hired all Democrats to count the votes of Monday’s Iowa caucus. Naturally, they all failed to show up for work.
 
“It was supposed to be a night where all the hard work paid off for Democrats,” Fox’s Bret Baier reported. “But because ‘hard work’ was part of the equation, at least some Republicans were needed. Unfortunately, none were on staff. So nothing is happening.”
 
Democratic party leaders were seen scrambling to poach Trump supporters, begging them to help do the necessary work. At one point a Republican seemed to show sympathy for the party in chaos.
“Oh, you guys need to know the final vote totals?” a man wearing a MAGA hat earnestly asked.
 
“YES! Please! Please show us the results!” DNC Chairman Tom Perez yelled back.
 
“Are these the results you need?” the Trump supporter said reaching into his pocket and pulling out his middle finger.
 
As this article is being published, the Democrats are sheepishly releasing the little known DNC rule that states Tom Arnold will be declared the winner in the event of an undecided outcome.