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CNN Reinforcing Camera Lenses In Case Cory Booker Stares Directly At Them During Debate

CNN Reinforcing Camera Lenses In Case Cory Booker Stares Directly At Them During Debate

CNN can be called many things but unprepared isn’t one of them. A source close to the network has told The Glorious American that CNN is reinforcing each of their TV camera lenses in case Cory Booker stares directly at them.

Booker suffers from a rare disability eye doctors call: “Insane Eye Balls” or IEB. “It’s when the brain is so corrupted the eye balls actually try to escape directly through the sockets,” Dr. Simons explained. “In extreme cases, like with Booker, the eye balls become so desperate they can easily break glass.”

“We’ve learned our lesson from the first debate,” a CNN engineer told us. “Booker kept looking at our cameras and we kept swapping out the damn lenses during the commercial break.”

UPDATE: The same engineer ran into Booker in the hotel lobby this morning and did his best to salvage the network’s equipment. “Hey Cory!” You know what’s missing in this Democratic field? Style,” he said handing Booker a pair of sunglasses.