In-N-Out To Portland?  Burger Chain Interviewing Northwest Cows.

In-N-Out To Portland? Burger Chain Interviewing Northwest Cows.

Portlanders are abuzz with the rumor that the ultra-popular In-N-Out Burger chain might be coming to the Rose City. Several sources within the restaurant tell The Glorious American they’ve sent some of their top chefs to Portland area to interview local cows. “In-N-Out requires a special cow,” said chief Ingredient expert Mark Spink. “Everyone knows…

Democrats Know: Blue-Collar Voters Will Vote For Whoever’s Sleeves Are Rolled Up Highest

Democrats Know: Blue-Collar Voters Will Vote For Whoever’s Sleeves Are Rolled Up Highest

After hundreds of hours in focus groups and talking with media elites, the Democrat candidates believe they finally understand what blue collar voters want: to see their sleeves rolled up. “Liberals are so sick of that out-of-touch man in the White House, they seem willing to show a ton of forearm to those..those coal miners…

Joe Biden’s 2020 Campaign Slogan Draws Criticism

Joe Biden’s 2020 Campaign Slogan Draws Criticism

Shortly after Joe Biden formally announced his 2020 Presidential run, his campaign released their slogan, “Hide yo kids, Hide yo wife” and immediately faced backlash. “We just felt we should take Joe’s biggest liability and use it to our advantage” said Biden’s campaign manager Dawn Mason. “The first thing other Democrats are going to do…

Kamala Harris Dazzles At CNN Debate With Willingness To Answer Tough Questions Some Other Time

Kamala Harris Dazzles At CNN Debate With Willingness To Answer Tough Questions Some Other Time

During Monday night’s CNN town hall, Senator Kamala Harris showed voters she has what it takes to run from questions she doesn’t want to answer. When the political wizard found herself in the weeds about whether or not convicted felons should have the right to vote, Harris boldly told host Don Lemon, “I think we…

Russell Westbrook Does Not Believe In Aluminum Foil

Russell Westbrook Does Not Believe In Aluminum Foil

It was last NBA season when Boston Celtics point guard Kyrie Irving expressed skepticism of a globe shaped Earth.  He believes the Earth is flat.  This season, Golden State Warrior guard Stephen Curry said “Nope!” when asked if we had been to the moon. And the strange conspiracy theories of NBA point guards continued on…